Emotional, life-changing and timelessly captivating…

10 Hardstyle/Hardcore Tracks That Changed My Life

By: Madeleine Sheehan

When it comes to leaving an emotional and mental impact, there are very few powers that have the strength of music in my opinion. As with many other forms of art, music has the ability to create joy, create despair, create excitement and create strength. I firmly believe that music in general, but more specifically, certain tracks, have the ability to change your life.

I was doing a bit of reflecting lately, thinking about questions I’d ask artists if I could interview them, and I kept coming back to the question of ‘what tracks have changed your life, or at the very least, had a significant mental/emotional impact on you?’. I think it’s a question that really allows for a very intimate insight into the human being behind the public DJ façade. It got me wondering, what would I answer with?

Originally I was going to restrict this list to 5 tracks, but considering I love hardcore as much as hardstyle, I figured I needed to expand it out to 10 tracks to really do both genres justice. Whilst this list is by no means an exhaustive list of tracks that have changed my life, I like to consider it a good starting point.

Click on the track titles for the appropriate Youtube videos!

1.) “City of Intensity” – Brennan Heart (Blademasterz Dub Mix)

I know I said this list was in no order. I lied a little bit. I’m putting this track first because this is the first hardstyle track I can ever remember listening to. Prior to “City of Intensity”, all I knew of electronic dance music (of any genre) was the random techno and trance music I stumbled across on my insomnia fueled Limewire adventures (you guys remember when Limewire was a thing don’t you?).

I was sitting in a friends living room, watching her crazy Russian boyfriend who lived with her play Xbox. Everywhere there were posters advertising something called ‘Defqon’ and ‘Q Dance’.

Curiously, I eventually asked the inevitable question: “What’s Defqon?”

He looked up at me incredulously…
“You don’t know what Defqon is?”
“No, that’s why I’m asking.”
“It’s a hardstyle festival.”
“What’s hardstyle?”
“You don’t know what…. Okay, hang on, listen to this.”

After a second, he’d selected his hardstyle playlist on the Xbox and put it on shuffle. “City of Intensity” was the first track that played. It was a weirdly profound moment for me, sitting on that couch, absorbing the sounds bouncing off the walls and hard floors. I’d never heard anything like it, it was like I’d opened my eyes properly for the first time and could suddenly see a new, previously unknown world hiding just beneath the surface of regular life. I had goosebumps and fell in love with the sound of hardstyle instantly.

Looking back on that moment years ago, it blows my mind to think my entire life as a raver started with that one track and that one moment.

2.) “On The Edge” – Tha Playah

Whilst I fell in love with hardstyle instantly, my now enduring love for hardcore took longer to grow and develop. I think I even listened to a terrorcore track once, and wrinkled my face in disgust and asked myself how people could listen to such rubbish.

“On The Edge” was a track that changed things for me and made me reconsider my opinions on the faster, harder end of the spectrum. The combination of potent, thought-provoking lyrics (sampled from 2010 movie ‘I’m Still Here’) such as  “It’s in the darkest moments when the cracks allow the inner light to come out” paired with the massive hardcore drop, made for a track that literally took my breath away.

The energy and the wave of power that I felt listening to that track made me feel drunk or high on a substance I didn’t understand. I felt strong, crazy, ready to ride into battle on horseback. I didn’t feel aggressive exactly, but I felt this reckless confidence that I was invulnerable, that I was stronger then I had been only minutes ago. That intoxicating feeling of energy and strength quickly became one of the foundations for my love of hardcore moving forward.

3.) “Psychedelic Wasteland” – Toneshifterz

No matter how hardstyle changes or develops over the years, this track will always be special to me. You see, this track was the 2011 Defqon Australia anthem. That particular edition of Defqon was not only my first Defqon, but also my first rave event of any kind. Talk about jumping straight into the deep end!

Whilst obviously that whole day was life-changing for me, this track in particular is representative of my rebirth as a raver. The theme of ‘psychedelic wasteland’ appealed to my rebellious, alternative personality. Lyrics like “Standing our ground, defending the colours of the harder styles, we are here to stay” gave the entire festival and scene an underground feel. It was like we were warriors, defending the beautiful utopia we’d created for ourselves using music.

I often feel like this track is a bit of a forgotten gem, very rarely played out at events anymore. Obviously that makes me a little sad, considering it’s emotional and historic importance to me, it does also mean it is that much more special when it does get played.

4.) “The World Is Yours” – Project One

As my love for hardstyle grew, developed and became uniquely my own, I became increasingly interested in the history and foundations of hardstyle. I started searching for older tracks, started trying to educate myself on the artists themselves, what other names they played under and where they came from.

Before long, I stumbled across legendary duo ‘Project One’, a collaboration between Headhunterz and Wildstylez, two absolute powerhouses in their own rights. The two of them collaborated for three months, releasing on average a track a week, before ultimately releasing ‘Project One: The Album’ in 2008.

To say this album took the scene by storm is an understatement. There are ravers (myself included) to this day who still yearn for the return of Project One. Their music represented classic hardstyle at it’s finest, a sound that we’ve never quite witnessed again.

Whilst it’s probably impossible for me to pick an absolute favourite track from the album, “The World Is Yours” is one of the tracks I rate highest. It was just so different to the kind of hardstyle I’d been listening to previously and it really helped found my love for classic hardstyle, particularly the music released from about 2007-2010. Discovering this track, and indeed this whole album, made me feel like I was discovering hardstyle all over again.

5.) “Feel Terror Cloud Your Senses” – DaY-Mar

I think what really solidified my love for hardcore and sent me on a mission to educate myself was attending Masters of Hardcore when Powerhouse Productions brought it to Sydney in 2013. I was by large unfamiliar with the lineup, wasn’t sure what to expect, but was keen for the experience nevertheless.

Whilst I enjoyed all the sets I watched, the one that really broke my brain was DaY-Mar’s closing set. I admit, I was pretty intoxicated by the time she came on to play and was not feeling altogether myself. So, when she took her place behind the decks and opened her set, I reacted weirdly. I felt this strange mixture of terror at the spectacle unfolding before me, and awe at the beauty of it all. I stood utterly still for the first 3 or 4 minutes of her set, frozen by the conflicting emotions within me. After I regained my sense of self, I excused myself from my group and went and sat up the back where I could take in the whole thing.

After the event and once I got home, I couldn’t sleep. I stayed up for hours, struggling to keep myself occupied. I started trawling through music, starting off with hardcore tracks released by artists on the MOH lineup. Before long, I found myself drawn to DaY-Mar and her work. I stumbled across her track ‘Feel Terror Cloud Your Senses’ and immediately felt that mingled terror and awe again. This emotional reaction, coupled with samples from “Batman Begins” (I’m a huuuuuge Batman freak), made this track something special to me.

6.) “Angel” – The Nasty Boyz

Revisiting the subject of classic hardstyle again, this track is particularly special to me. Released in 2007, this track was an old gem that I discovered with the assistance of an ex-boyfriend who used to play classic hardstyle compilation albums all the time in the car.

I don’t know what else to say about this track other than hooooollly shit, the feels! The build and eventual drop into an appropriately huge melody just kills me every time. I am completely unashamed to admit that I cried the first time I listened to this track properly.

To this day, I still can’t listen to this track without flailing around and fistpumping like a crazy person. I lose all inhibition and just generally lose my shit. Anyone who dares speak during “Angel” earns themselves an immediate one-way trip to my bad books. All I have ever wanted is to hear this track get dropped at a huge event, preferably during endshow. I feel like it’s pretty unlikely it’ll ever happen, but I’ll never stop wishing.

7.) “Virus” – B-Front

This track is one of those ones I always forget about, then rediscover and love all over again. Prior to discovering this track, my tastes in hardstyle definitely ran towards the more euphoric side of things. This track (along with others such as ‘Bolivia’) started to push me towards rougher, rawer sounding hardstyle. It became less about feelings and emotion, and more about the almost industrial aggression and energy behind the track.

‘Virus’ is a bleak, distorted sounding track that samples “Resident Evil: Afterlife”. It opens with the haunting quote “Five years ago… A virus escaped, and everybody died“. This immediately set the image of a post-apocalyptic world and put you in the right mindset for the rest of the track.

Dark and rough hardstyle is something B-Front does very well, and for someone looking to get their ‘darkstyle’ fix, I’d definitely recommend starting with this track and then investigating his discography further.

8.) “Underwater” – Zany

For my explanation of why this track changed my life to make sense, I need anyone who’s reading this to bear with me whilst I paint a picture.

It was 2012, I was just starting to slowly find my feet and establish myself as a raver. I was attending my second defqon. I’d gotten past the initial culture shock, knew what it was about now, and knew why I was there and who I wanted to see. One of the top names on that ‘to see’ list was Zany.

I’ll start off by saying Zany’s set that day was something special and I still get goosebumps remembering it to this day. There’s a reason why he’s so respected in the scene and his DQAUS 2012 set was a perfect example of why.

When Zany opened his set with this track, a strange, almost electrical shiver went through me. My vision seemed to blur for a second and I turned from looking at the stage to looking at the crowd behind me. I suddenly felt tiny, an insignificant contributing element to a much larger power. Whilst this sounds like a negative experience, in this instance it definitely wasn’t. It made me feel light as a feather, free to simply experience and be.

The delicate yet seductive melody of ‘Underwater’ quickly swallowed me whole, I felt like I was on this musical rollercoaster, guided by MC Villain onstage. I was genuinely moved on an emotional level, I wanted that track and that moment to never end.

9.) “Imaginary” – Brennan Heart

“Imaginary” was a weird one for me. Upon it’s initial release, I was in a relationship with someone who I guess could best be described as a hardstyle elitist. Unfortunately, through living with him and dating him, I picked up a lot of his musical snobbery, a bad habit that took me awhile to unlearn. When this track was released, he badmouthed it immediately, calling it ‘cheesy shit’, and ‘wannabe trance’.

I initially agreed with him, adding my own insults and negative remarks to the mix. However, I one day sat down and for no particular reason decided to listen to the track properly. I slowly started to realise that it was not  a bad track and I actually didn’t mind it.

Somehow, down the track, after breaking up with said boyfriend and rediscovering my own personality and tastes in things, I went from not minding the track to straight up loving it. I started to relate to the lyrics on a very personal level. Lines like “Sleep to dream tonight, fill the empty spaces that shadows left behind“, reminded me of my ongoing battle with mental illness where sleep was often my only refuge from the emptiness that my depression and other ‘shadows’ had created inside of me.

I think the biggest moment I’ve had with this track was when I watched Brennan Heart play last year at Masif. When he dropped ‘Imaginary’, I couldn’t help it, I just broke down and cried. To this day, I still feel a wave of emotion upon hearing it. I’m even planning to get the first couple lines of lyrics as my first tattoo.

You know a track is important to you when you want it inked permanently on your skin.

10.) “FTS” – Showtek

I kind of feel like no ‘top ten’ list is quite complete without at least something of Showtek’s. Anyone who’s being raving for awhile understands exactly how important these guys were back in the day. Admittedly, ‘FTS’ is kind of overdone now, but once upon a time, it really was an absolute beast and was guaranteed to send everyone nuts. I still mourn old Showtek’s departure from the scene, despite my less than kind feelings towards them in their current form.

‘FTS’ (or ‘Fuck The System’) was, and still is, an anthem of hardstyle in general. It was a track that perfectly captured the devotion, the rebelliousness, the fierce joy of the hardstyle scene. The lyrics were blunt and to the point: “I think the whole system fucking sucks. Everybody is working their fucking ass off during the week,getting totally fucking stressed out. So what’s wrong, and what’s right? I live for the weekend, I live for hard styles, I live for hardstyle baby!”

Upon first hearing this track, I felt like I really got an honest glimpse into the hardstyle scene. We were electronic punks, we lived by alternative values, we saw the system for what it was: society’s way of grinding us all down into drones, stealing our lives away from us. We recognised that and as a result, we stood our ground and through our music, our culture and our scene, we made it our mission to diverge from that path.

It was tracks like ‘FTS’ that helped solidify my love for hardstyle and set me upon the long journey that has brought me to my current state: a happy, passionate raver. Part of what makes this track special is the knowledge that so many other people out there can relate to this feeling.

Like I said, this list is by no means exhaustive, but it does contain at least some of the bigger tracks to influence me. Music is so important to me personally, and to humanity on a larger scale. Take a moment, think back over your life and ask yourself the same question, what tracks or songs have helped change your life? Why have they been so important to you? What does music mean for your personally?

Regardless of the answer, I think it’s safe to say, we all have our ten tracks.