04 Mar 2016 
Posted by Nicki Ranger
We’ll Stay Young Forever – The Truth About Raving In Your Mid 30’s.
I first went to a club in 1995. It was the week before my 17th birthday. I got hammered on one and a half Diamond White ciders and threw up in my handbag in the taxi home, but that’s not really the point of this story. The point is, I had my first experience of a dark room filled with thumping music, twirling coloured lights, a smoke machine and a crowded dance-floor and I absolutely loved it!
A year or so later, I had my first experience of watching the sun come up on the way home from a club. It didn’t really matter if I was drinking or if I was the designated driver, a weekend was never quite complete without going out for a dance. Time passes (a couple of decades), life goes on, somewhere along the way I moved from the UK to Sydney and honestly, I still don’t have any other way I’d rather spend a weekend.
You may well be thinking that of course I’ve got time for all this fun and nonsense in my 30’s! I haven’t got kids and whilst this may be true for me, let me tell you about another girl that I know. She’s a mum, she’s got a full time day job, nips up and down the east coast of Australia to play DJ sets, runs hard dance club nights in her home city not to mention, she’s the dance-floor at every other event too! And on top of that, she also finds time to run a cake decorating business. I’m exhausted just thinking about the pace of her life!
Speaking of cake (yum), as another birthday creeps up to push me firmly from mid to late 30’s, I thought I’d give you an insight on what it’s like to sometimes be, as we might say in Australian terms, “the oldest c*nt in the club.”
Some things just shouldn’t be sugar coated, so I’m going to start with…
5 Brutally Harsh Facts
1. Your sleep patterns are pretty much non-existent
If you’ve spent your whole adult life staying up all night at least once every weekend, probably combined with a fair bit of burning the candle at both ends on week nights in years gone by, you may have spent years in what really amounts to a constant state of jetlag.
2. You will have some aches and pains after a long night on the dance-floor
For example, my knees are absolutely fucked. When I least expect it, I get a sudden strange pain and suddenly I can feel my knee moving with every step. Watch out for the knee supports I will likely end up wearing next festival season. I’ll be starting a trend, I tell you.
3. A lot of people you see at events look really young
This is something that bothered me for a while and then I just got over it or got used to it and now I don’t really notice. I’ve accepted that I am the odd one out.
I’m just grateful that the all ages rave scene is a thing of the past – every event in Sydney now is either 18+ or underage. I’m OK partying with much younger people, but not with actual children. When I first moved to Sydney I went to a rave called Godspeed. I was 27, my friends were all the same age or older and all from the UK. No-one told us that this event was all ages – we walked into an arena full of 15yr olds all dressed up to the nines in their best rave gear – gas masks, fluffy stuff and more kandi than we’d ever seen in our lives. I think the only other people anywhere near our age on the dance-floor were the undercover cops.
4. Your friends do not always appreciate some of the older music in your collection
If you find that some of your rave friends are a bit younger than you, just be prepared for some differences in your music taste. I must be fair and stress that this is not always the case, but certainly when my close friends are at my house I cannot get away with putting on any 90’s music whatsoever. No matter how timeless or classic I think a tune is, they’re simply not having it.
So then I have to stop and remember – its 2016. 1996 may seem like yesterday but it was 20 years ago. In 1996, my Dad would try and tell me how great music was in 1976. I don’t want to sound like my Dad.
5. Friends will drop out of the scene and you may end up flying solo
Whatever your social scene in life, friends do come and go sometimes – people’s interests change, people go travelling, get demanding jobs, have kids, whatever. Close friends will still be close friends even if you are no longer dancing ‘til dawn together. If you want to carry on going out, you might sometimes end up going out on your own.
Now, because I’m a glass half full kind of girl, brings me straight into…
5 Awesome, Positive Truths
1. You’re happy to go out on your own
By the time you get into your thirties, the chances are that you’ve lived in a few different places, travelled, or even just had different groups of friends in your home town over time. You know that it is possible to meet new people; you should also have learned that you can’t force friendships – they’ll just happen along the way.
There’s no way I could be happy sitting at home knowing I’m missing a great day or night of music just because none of my friends wanted to go. I think FOMO is just as much of a thing for a late thirties raver because instead of thinking “I’ve got years to do this,” I’m thinking “I’m too old to NOT do this!” I’m not going to sit around forever wondering if maybe next year someone will want to go to this event or that with me; if I want to go, I’m going, doesn’t matter if I’m on my own.
2. You can look after yourself in a crowd
My first experience of getting near the front of a festival crowd was at a rock festival in the UK in the 90’s. I got dragged out of a mosh pit just in time before I disappeared underneath it. That didn’t put me off of crowds but I do avoid mosh pits like the plague. Fortunately, there’s not much of that nonsense at hard dance festivals and now that I’ve been in the thick of the crowd at plenty of events I’m more than happy to get right down the front of the main stage, even when I’m on my own.
3. Dancing is great exercise
I know a hell of a lot of people who have stopped going out and instead now devote themselves to hectic schedules of fitness activities. On the other hand, I must admit that I take a less disciplined approach to exercise. Last year I bought a Fitbit to see if I could do 10,000 steps a day. I went out one night to see Scott Brown play at a club and I hit 10,000 steps by 1.30am. At Defqon.1, I clocked up over 53,000 steps in a day.
Pro tip: If you’ve done your exercise for the day before you’ve even gone to bed, you can have a nice sleep-in the next morning.
4. New music is really good too
Not all of it, however saying that, not all of the old music was good either; we simply choose to remember the good bits. Music fluctuates throughout phases in time. Think you don’t like new hardstyle? Go and listen to some Wasted Penguinz right now! Didn’t like UK hardcore ten years ago? Try it again this year you might be surprised!
In my opinion, Trance is currently at around a ten year high point, with the 140bpm psytrance sound definitely hitting the spot for me and attracting a lot of harder styles fans to also attend trance events. Even friends of mine who have sworn off any new music for as long as I’ve known them and who go out strictly for old-skool or reunion type events have managed to get back into trance in the last year or so. Even they’re admitting that, yes, there is good new music out there.
5. The hard dance scene is the most welcoming, friendly and inclusive scene for anyone, of any age
Of course I’m being a little bit biased here towards the scene I love best! I think the same can honestly be said of any scene that revolves around music first and foremost. The friendly vibe and the community that you get at a hard dance festival, club night or rave is amazing, even when the music might sound brutal the people are incredibly friendly.
Among the crowd of familiar faces at my local hard dance club is a friend of mine who usually takes up residence sitting at a table at the back of the club. He’s been going out forever and knows absolutely everyone. He’ll get up for a dance now and again but usually he’ll just sit and watch the world go by, knowing that in the course of the night each of his friends will come and visit him for a chat. His regular visitors and drinking buddies include some of the youngest, nicest and most enthusiastic ravers in the place. I’ve already told him that when my knees start to give up completely I’ll be sitting up the back there with him.
Are you a 30+ year old hard dance music fan? Are you and your friends all still going out regularly? Do you still enjoy the atmosphere of a crowded club or festival, or would you rather just listen to music at home instead? Let us know your views in the comments section below!
15 Comments
Im 30 and yesss im still raving 😀 i love it, ill probably still be going when i need a zimmer frame haha xx
Going on 32, also from Sydney been raving since my early teens. I also feel this way LOL I have two kids, also been Djing in our scene for 10 years + I’m also a teacher and have seen kids I’ve taught come through the scene….. imagine one regular night out your dancing front and centre at a well known Sydney club night and here comes bouncing along one of your ex students from your uni placement! Haha it was quite the surprise, and we’ll didn’t I immediately feel very old and out of place. I didn’t let that deter me, know that student and I dance the night away and i find nyself being somewhat protective over the young raver. At least u know I influence him somewhat during my classes.
From random rave carpools to the old parties at Penrith Skates, the whitlam centre and frenches forest scout halls back in the day to now where we have a scene that’s flourishing have been blessed by the rave gods to have amazing parties from Masif, qdance, HSU events, nightvisions and a vast number of smaller club nights up and down our coastline our scene has grown amazingly.
After many years of enjoying the scene and working alongside and behind the scenes of Defqon Australia in 2011,12,13, 14…. i meet my partner in crime on the dance floor of a hard club night at Nox nightclub in Liverpool, we soo. travelled to Europe to see where it all began in 2014. It was amazing 70,000 ppl strong crowds celebrating hard dance music genres from all over the world…. I’m referring to the amazement that is the b2s event decibel wow just wow.
Upon our return we could see how much our scene was growing…. from 10,000 strong raves at ACER and the Sydney sport centre in the early 2000’s to 25k strong crowds at defqon it’s remarkable. I agree, Time has changed the events, it’s slot harder know to throw an amazing party and not loose a motza in the mean time… councils and legal laws make this pretty difficult for those promoters eating to keep our scene fresh.
On the dancerfloor and behind the decks I will always be one saying oh but the classics…. Scot project, Raver baby crew, Scott Brown. …. Awwwwwww the list of epicnessgoes on…. to me that’s where my memories lie, in the chill our area of state sport centre, the whitlam centre, shark bar, box, the gaff, don’t forget penrith skatel, Acer arena and haha frenches forest scout hall where sometimes I though the floor was going to fall in from all the boucing weight lol those memeories will always have me returning to the danxfloor even as a mum and that weird old person dancing like the are stuck in the 80s….. It’s a scene for everyone, those who love the dance floor, the music, the raver lifestyle… I for one am and always behave been proud to be a part of it. 🙂
Excuse the spelli mistakes it’s 2am and my newborn is feeding so auto spell took over! Forever young raver for life. 🙂
Yup I’m 40 and have been doing it non stop for over 25 years. Yes I have a knee brace too lol….but I was a former soldier from 16-21 so that kinda is why my body’s fucked, had to spinal ops, 3 knee ops and other surgeries like apendics etc…but I feel young I won’t stop going to these events (I’ve moved on to psytrance now) but I’m going to Godskitchen the last dance in June, went to work for them in my 20’s after leaving the army I went to uni and lived in halls lol…..I worked my ass off for polysexual, sundissential and other various club events so that’s when I started playing hard dance. I had this convo when I was 30…..I just said why does everyone think I’m 10 years younger than I am and why are all my friends that? I’ve got a few mates who are the same as me, they don’t go at it like gospel though because they’re married etc with kids…I’m married to my music, live for it, I love it so much I can’t express it in words. There are those who grasp life and hobbies and fall passionately in love with it and there are those who don’t……to say I’m the black sheep in my family is an understatement haha. I also have a good friend who comes to tribe of frog and planet shroom in Bristol and I know he’s at other events too…..he’s 75 going on 25 and he’s said I have the same in me. Amen to tunes lol
I’m in my 30s, still go out the same, DJ weekly out of state, breakdance and still no injuries! I actually don’t get these “new injuries *. We aren’t 50 lol
Wow. I’m 37, been following Trance since there was no term like it (1994, Robert Miles etc). I travelled to 10+ countries, lived in 3 for 7+ years. Was in US but twre was barely good Trance in those days on Radio. Life has been mostly good & few hiccups in between. Now relocated back to Mumbai, India. The absolute constant in all these years has been Trance. Bar None. Love of my parents, siblings, friends & TRANCE.
Im 46 in a couple of weeks and still go raving with friends from the age of early 20s to 52 grandad of two …..My daughter is 21 and DJs as she has grown up with a mum who’s always been a raver!! I think I’ll still be going with a zimmer …..You get old when you stop raving 💃💃💃💃💃💃🙈
I’m coming up to 32 and the thought of leaving the hard dance scene hasn’t even popped into my mind. I may not go out every weekend and may have slowed down compared to 5-6 years ago but I still enjoy it like it was my first time! There’s no age limit, if you enjoy something you should do it 🙂
What about us Zimmer frame djs???
Ps i know u were talkin sly about Tanya 😉
I came up in the early underground scene in Detroit, USA. I attended my first event in 1996 at 13 years old from a flier I found in a metro times. Changed my life forever. From early Plus8, SYST3M Detroit, Minus, Dubtech, BIOKIDD, etc to the happy hardcore heaven that was Hullabaloo in Toronto and still today in this modern edm popularity contest, I have still found my party people and speaker freaks.
I’ve met all my best friends in life through the scene. I’ve traveled the globe for the music I love. Thrown parties. Lost money. Learned lessons. Made incredible adventures.
I recall people telling me it was a phase. That electronic music will some day fade in to obscurity.
I’m Coming up on my 20 year raverversary and I’m still burning my light brightly.
To quote Nakatomi,
Let the fire burn inside,
Nobody can stop this generation.
We’re the children of the night,
We fight for the future of our nation!
Let’s come together and unite,
Nothing’s gonna stop us now!
Come along and join the scene,
Live your life like a rave machine! <3
See you all on the dance floor.
<3 KFAB
I was a later starter, losing my religion in the mid-90’s while in my mid 30’s and discovering the true religion of Hard Dance, in London. Along with a HH-fam of antipodean chums we followed Frantic between Brixton Academy, The End, Camden Palace, and any other night that was 155bpm+.
In between HH nights we were regulars at The Fridge for Escape From Samsara and Lovemuscle, and that epic year when Oakenfold was resident at Home in Leicester Square. I was at Glastonbury in 1999 when Fat Boy Slim played to about 50,000 people, and I was at Brixton Academy in 2000 the night Leftfield damaged the building with their sound system.
Last week I was at the Metro in Sydney on a Monday night to see Leftfield (it was amazing btw), and last year my younger GF and I (cliche’ alert) flew to Auckland to got to our noughties hangout – Studio on K Road – for London Hard House Reunion.
In June we’re off to Vegas for Electric Daisy Carnival for the 3rd time. At 51 I still want to go out all night until 6:30am. Daytime raving like Stereo and FMF doesn’t cut it. For a while there I thought the dance scene was over but then the US discovered ‘EDM’ and now Hard House is becoming the new Trance. Again. Bring it on.
I LOVE the new music – Swedish House Mafia, Bingo Players, A&B, Arty etc etc, but I still love BK, Nick Sentience, Andy Farley, Phil Reynolds, Tara, K90, Lisa Pinup etc. Old clubbers never die, and we certainly do not go to and sit down at U2 concerts. We may need to self-medicate a bit more than we used to in order to stay up all night, but we still stay up all night,
See you @ Masif 🙂
I grew up on midwest bass in the 90’s. Madtown, milwaukee, chi-town, twin cities, detroit was a hell-uv-a incubator for a true underground rave fam experience. Time went by and now i have a 19 yo kandi raver daughter who regularly clubs. I’m lucky enough to be in a city that has ‘thro-bak’ nights with headliners i still have old demo tapes of. So as not to be like my dad, ‘music was better in the 70’s,’ i won’t go to a party if i find out my daughter will be there. She loves my old demo tape collections, records, stacks of fliers, rave gear, and stories, but I guess thats my only rule now. She needs her own experience like i had, and to call it her own scene.
I’m 45, live in Chicago and have been at it for over 30 years. I went to my first House party in 1984 with some friends in High School to see Bad Boy Bill and my life has never been the same. I still go out every chance I get, sometimes solo, mostly with a group of friends. I am the oldest in the group, but only by a couple years. Most of my friends in this group became my friends through the love of music and dancing. I couldn’t agree more with this article about the health benefits of this life style. People tell me all the time how young I look, and ask me what’s my secret? I’ve never been married, no kids, and I love to go out and have fun. We are put on this Earth to live. LIVE!!! I’m in the best shape of my life, only a little gray in my beard, and am extremely happy and satisfied with my existence. I vacation in Detroit! Techno baby, techno.
I’m a 42 year old canadian and I went to my first rave in montreal in 1992. I was barely 19… my life (thankfully), has never been the same.
I share many of these experiences with the author – noticing age gaps, feeling sore after all nighters, feeling that some of my older music is under-appreciated… basically stuff that could make me feel old.
But it doesn’t make me feel old. Instead, I feel young. Because I’m over 40 and can still dance for 8 hours!! I routinely see kids in their teens and early twenties, tapping out after 3 or 4 hours. Undoubtedly because they haven’t yet accumulated enough raving/clubbing/festy experience. They don’t know how to take care of their body, their friends, or their consumption (of whatever) – if you catch my drift. And some of those kids, will ‘grow up’ and not be out dancing in 10 years… but some of them, I recognize that they will be ‘lifers’ like me – dancing till we die 🙂 <3
As I've aged, I've learned to appreciate more of the culture. I'm more discriminatory in my music choices ( not genres but QUALITY). I've learned to know when to abstain, because sometimes hangovers and tuesday blahs don't mesh well with work and other adulting responsibilities. And, best of all, I have amassed the most amazing set of diverse friends all over the world!
I club less these days, because sometimes kids are dumb, and sometimes bouncers are assholes, and always drinks are too much. But mostly because I have a bunch of great friends who are rad djs and have great taste in music and throw outstanding events!
Raving has helped mebecome more compassionate, considerate, adventurous, more open minded. More accepting.
In short, raving has made me a better person.
Thanks for the article, it nice to know that there are lots of people my age going strong.
Techno and psytrance for life!!! (But also house, breaks, dnb…. well good music heh!)
41 and still going to happy hardcore raves though it’s tough on the legs these days and i cant last till 6am anymore lol. Im going to be that 70 year old you sometimes see at raves 🙂