Top 10 most ‘annoying’ DJ status updates (and why they suck)

Sometimes, scrolling through social media is nothing more than a massive pain in the ass. I don’t know about you, but it can become rather irksome seeing the same old, standard social media posts by DJ’s. Everything is all fluffy and rosy in their world, and today I’m going to run you through ten ‘typical DJ status updates’ that make me want to angrily toss my phone out the window.

#10 – “Where do we meet?”

Somewhere between MDMAvenue and wigout central. OR, from behind the barricade because you’re too fancy to walk into the crowd.

#9 – “Who can you spot?!”

A bunch of dickheads trying to be cool + a few random behind the scenes plebs…

#8 – “OMG, wow! What a crazy f*cking night that was!”

You drove, drank water and stayed for one hour – wild times in the nursing home for you, son…

#7 – “WEEKEND!!!!!!!” (with random party pic)

Direct translation: I’m totally uninteresting, but I so desperately need social media content.

#6 – “Started a collab with… (can’t tell you though)”

For all we know, you could just be collaborating with a jackhammer, so until you’re actually allowed to reveal your fellow colleague then we don’t really want to hear your useless babble about how ‘big’ this collab is going to be.

#5 – “Got new press pics – bring on 2017!” 

Yeah, come on, you’re literally wearing the same bomber jacket, snapback and skinny jeans as last time. The only real ‘change’ is that you’ve (maybe) grown a beard and asked the photographer to use a new editing effect.

#4 – “OMG – 200,000 plays in 2 weeks!” 

Thanks for informing us that you’ve racked up a shitload of views on YouTube. In that case, the next round of drinks is on you…

#3 – “Feeling really inspired in the studio today, cool things coming up xx”

Yeah babe; live, laugh, love xx. Nonetheless, if you actually had a buttload of inspiration you’d be making music and not taking selfies.

#2 – “The word is out!!!!!!!”

I’M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!

#1 – “Omg, cool things are coming up!!!!! (but I can’t tell you what I’m working on)”

Alright, the whole “cool things are coming up” spiel is the most infuriating one of all. Quite frankly, unless you’re going to the moon or have accidentally ingested a whole book of LSD then I’m not impressed.

All we have left to say is, SORRY, NOT SORRY. #savage