Banana raves, monkey business & bizzarity – This was Mysteryland 2015!

Exploring the hidden secrets of this intricate and mysterious land whilst being bathed underneath the sun’s beauty is something that the visitors of this year’s ‘Mysteryland’ will never forget. Traditionally held at the end of August in the grounds of Haarlemmermeer, Mysteryland is a forward-thinking concept that is not only devoted to celebrating the vastness of the electronic music umbrella but is also an occasion that ensures that its visitors enter a parallel universe. This year, I had the honour to be a part of this profound experience and on Saturday the 29th of August, as I walked through the gates of Mysteryland, a wave of oddity hit me in the face – I instantaneously knew that this wouldn’t just be ‘another Summer festival.’

Let us step into the bubble of craziness that I call Mysteryland…

Somewhere around 2:43PM, my friend and I stepped off the shuttle bus and headed for the entrance. For a change, the sun was welcoming and it appeared as though we had an abundance of good luck when it came to the weather Gods. After struggling with unfortunate bouts of rain and storms at quite a few festivals this Summer, it was an incredible relief to know that I wouldn’t come back home completely waterlogged. We made our way to the entrance, which was refreshingly close to where the bus dropped us off and approached the press desk with no waiting time. After getting our wristbands and a special map which indicated the press area and artist lounge (which my friend idiotically threw out), we went through a rather ‘laissez-faire’ bag check and were inside the festival in a flash!

2:49PM: I whipped out my ‘notorious’ voice recorder and was ready to capture the days shenanigans! “So we’ve arrived at Mysteryland and we need to head to the press area now so I can drop off my… Hey where’s the map?”
It appeared as though my friend had already thrown out the map which informed us of destinations which weren’t on the regular maps… Yeah thanks for that, cunt. Well, whatever, I can’t read a map anyway… We resorted to asking security guards and random people where the press area and artist lounge was but nobody could help us so I decided to put my bag in a regular locker and quickly grab some food before we checked out what the Q-Dance stage had to offer.

2:56PM: “On the way to the Q-Dance stage we’ve stopped by the ‘Spinnin’ Records’ tent and it’s like a fucking sauna in here! All of this cheesy big-room is giving me an allergic reaction, I WILL break out in hives any second now!” So we left… That stage was really not my cup of tea, mainly because of the music, however after the current act stepped down, Dirtcaps jumped up on stage and I kind of wished that I had stayed to watch them!

Whilst eating fries with mayonnaise and walking as quickly as humanly possible to the Q-Dance stage, I heard MC Villain farewell Max Enforcer from the stage before Atmozfears jumped up behind the decks. Prior to entering the festival I had seen a photo of the Q-Dance stage online and I instantly hated it. Let’s be honest, I’m not really keen to look at a huge baboon all day long, but mind you, my opinion on the stage changed after standing in front of it in real life and experiencing its power during the darker hours.

Before we ventured into the already lively crowd, I brought myself a well-deserved white wine, I was more than ready to get turnt! From just walking into the crowd I could literally feel the good vibes smack me in the face and not to mention, all of the blow-up bananas flying around were definitely something unique. After finding a group of my Australian friends amongst the crowd, I was joyful to be in their presence – they partied harder than any Dutchie I knew and well, let’s admit that Australians take partying and ‘bendering’ very seriously…

3:02PM: “Atmozfears opens with ‘Raise Your Hands’ as per fucking usual! EVERY FUCKING SET MAN, like c’mon mix it up a bit would ya?” He played the usual set including “Accelerate,” the fake Decibel anthem (lol), Code Black’s “Red Planet,” “Release” and many more of his melodic floor-fillers. Speaking of filling the floor, at this early hour it was pretty crowded; not only with blow up bananas but with eager hardstyle lovers who were dancing around wildly and embracing the euphoric feels.

4:00PM: After a pretty standard set from Atmozfears, Noisecontrollers, or better known as the God of hardstyle was about to bless the holy decks and we were excited to say the least! Opening his set with a bang by dropping experimental track “Caroussel,” the crowd kicked into overdrive and I excitedly drank my wine as quickly as possible. One thing I noticed during Noisecontrollers’ set was the huge smile that he had on his face from start to finish – he looked genuinely happy to play here and later on when I had a quick chat with him in the artist lounge he confirmed that his smile was one of a genuine nature.

4:26PM: “Noisecontrollers drops ‘Break The Show’ simultaneously with the burst of confetti into the crowd!” Myself and my Australian friends managed to say one word at this time which was: “FUARRRRKKKK!”
He followed up to the madness with a lot of tunes from his newly released studio album ‘All Night Long’ including “Here We Go,” “Infinity,” “Rocked Up” with Bass Modulators and more.

“It’s #turnt o’clock and the Noisecontrollers remix for ‘Let Me See Ya’ comes on. It says ‘let me see your hands up’ so we all put our hands up but then we didn’t know what to do next because NO ONE TOLD US WHAT TO DO NEXT. So fucking confusing…” We stood there for a good 3-4 minutes with our hands up, mind you.

By this stage and after a few cheeky wines, I was feeling slightly intoxicated so I decided to count all of the people in the crowd wearing *speed dealers. I managed to count at least 20 speedy cunts in the crowd – I was extremely satisfied that people were taking the art of speed dealers very seriously.

*Speed dealers – “An Australian term for framed and reflective sunglasses typically worn by bikies, speed dealers and Darude.”

At 5:00PM and just when Noisecontrollers dropped one of the best tracks from 2015, “Solar” with Bass Modulators, my friend and I decided to go for a little stroll around the festival and attempt to find the artist lounge (which we dismally failed to find before). It was downright packed when we attempted to walk out the back of the crowd and not just with boring cunts standing around chugging beer – everyone was lively and going crazy! Then I came to the conclusion that the Q-Dance stage packed in a real ‘party’ atmosphere. There was no pretentiousness, you could literally feel the solidarity and the party people were friendly and always down to have a chat. Hands down, the crowd was seriously one of the best that I’ve experienced this entire festival season and it reminded me why I love hardstyle!

After retreating from the wild crowd, we started walking towards the mainstage because ‘apparently’ the artist lounge was somewhere around there… To the person who gave us those incorrect directions – FUCK YOU. I was pretty obliterated by this stage so when we arrived at the mainstage I was sure to be voicing some very honest thoughts out loud.

5:07PM: I shouted into my voice recorder “FUCK, this is so gay… This sucks.” But it was true – everyone at the mianstage was standing around doing fuck all. A few seconds later I shouted “MINUS MILITIA!” for no apparent reason and everyone started giving me strange looks. “Fuck all of you cunts, you all suck.”
It appeared that I had really taken the giant baboon for granted because the design of the mainstage was nowhere near as intricate. I started laughing because in my head, all I could think was “here we go again… FUCK EDM!” We decided to continue our search for the artist lounge before I broke out in hives and before I knew it we ended up in some very *cooked garden.

*Cooked – “Under the influence of a plethora of substances and subsequently being exceptionally bizarre.”

Mysteryland was full of very ‘cooked’ things…

To say the least, I was immediately bamboozled by the wide selection of paraphernalia at Mysteryland, the name of the festival was self-explanatory. The walkway that we were on had a string that ran horizontally above our heads and had strips of different materials hanging down. There were also these weird half tee-pee things and oh, don’t even get me started on the silent maze.
At the very back of the mainstage we noticed this small room that was blasting strange music. We were about to take a look inside but we were in a hurry to find the artist lounge. My biggest regret was not going inside there because it was a full-on banana rave! Yes, a fucking banana rave! From my friends as witnesses they said that they were given banana suits on their way in.

The thing is, no other festival that I’ve been to has this ‘cooked stuff,’ so to be honest, I wasn’t expecting Mysteryland to have it but oh, oh, oh, how wrong I was… This is definitely a concept that more festivals should take up and in my opinion, banana raves should be compulsory! I’m still kicking myself that I didn’t get to go to that banana rave; it is something I’ll regret for the rest of my dawning days. However, I do know that next year I will dedicate as much time as possible to browsing through all the weird shit at the festival.

6:05PM: After failing to find the artist lounge, I sent a message to a friend who then informed me that I was on the complete wrong side of the festival. We walked back through the cooked garden and got back on the road to the Q-Dance which was supposedly close to the artist lounge. As we walked back to the Q-Dance stage, we came across this peculiar little area that was blasting trap and from what I saw, everybody in there was going absolutely crazy! If I wasn’t in such a rush to meet my friends then I would have been rockin’ out in there.

6:15PM: “Frontliner drops his remix of ‘Shivers’ by Armin Van Burren and were FINALLY going to the artist lounge. Finally, somebody knows the way!” Once we arrive in the artist lounge which is has a very relaxed and laidback vibe, vodka is on our minds but before I head back to the Q-Dance stage I had a quick chat with Noisecontrollers who was winding down after his set and grabbing something to eat. As I mentioned earlier, he was really stoked about his performance and said that the response from the crowd was remarkable. I congratulated Bas on a fantastic set then made my way back into the crowd to meet the rest of my friends. By this time, the end of Frontliner’s set was approaching and this also marked one of the best moments of the day – when he dropped one of my all-time favourites, “On The Go” followed by evergreen track “Magic.”

At 7:00PM, it was time for the signature energizer bunny, AKA Audiofreq. As soon as he popped up behind the decks he was in full throttle and gave it his all! After a slower and more melodic set from Frontliner, Audiofreq amped up the energy with some of his signature hits including “Warcry” “Lock & Load,” and “Audiophetamine.” One big highlight of the set was when Outbreak appeared on stage wearing a banana suit, which was probably stolen from the banana rave; I was in stitches laughing at this random appearance.

7:55PM: I head back to the artist lounge to grab some more drinks and have a chat with a few people before retreating back into party-mode accompanied by the rough n’ raw sounds of fellow Aussie Outbreak. Just as I was grooving my way through the crowd, “Brainsmacker” was dropped, which was followed by some killer new material from his upcoming EP “Rebel Territory.” By this stage I was seriously turnt and the vodka I had been consuming for the last hour appeared to be accumulating rapidly in my blood stream.

At 8:45PM one of the craziest moments of the entire day was upon us – when Outbreak drops 90’s hardcore classic “Rainbow High In The Sky” by DJ Paul Elstak. My explanation of just how fucking crazy people went will not give justice to the mayhem that went on in those few minutes. I immediately decided that Outbreak deserved to be crowned with ‘set of the day’ not only because of the fact he relentlessly dropped happy hardcore, but the fact that he played a real energetic set that was raw enough to enjoy but not too raw to make me want to leave the stage. Around 8:50PM, the sun begins to retreat behind the stage which means only one thing – it’s time for the real production to kick into overdrive!

Right before B-Front’s set, I walked to the locker to get my bag to avoid having to go there at the conclusion of the festival and when I arrived back, I found my friends and we found a spot halfway up the hill which allowed us to have a stunning view of the entire area. The feeling was indescribable as I watched the baboon illuminate into beautiful neon colours as fire erupted from the stage. With B-Front’s set being extended, we weren’t complaining as we were amazed by his track selection. From “Mysterias” to “Undiscovered” and “Psycho,” B-Front brought the goods and in combination with the incredible production going on right before my eyes, I must admit that this was bliss!

Running a little late, Maddog and MC Jeff jumped up around 10:15PM, which only allowed them to perform for about 20 minutes. I was actually really happy to hear some hardcore at the end and from what I could see on my position up the hill, the party transformed into the ultimate madhouse! Their set was extremely energetic, yet still accessible for those who aren’t as familiar with hardcore and in sync with the dashing lasers; this was seriously the cherry on-top of one of the greatest festivals this year!

Finally, the moment was here… The tempo slowed back down as the end-show started with Da Tweekaz remix of Darren Styles & Re-Con’s “Rest Of Your Life” and from there, it was 20 minutes of pyrotechnics and lighting that proved why Q-Dance pulls off the most notorious end-shows. I stood there in awe and disbelief of how incredible it all looked – although my initial sight wasn’t in favour of the stage, once it was illuminated and shooting out a plethora of fireworks and lasers, I really came around to it. So, here’s a lesson to not judge a book by its cover, right?

All in all, Mysteryland was undoubtedly one of the highlights this festival season – everything was organised down to the minute details and the vibe was one that was enjoyable, relaxed and welcoming. Bring on ML16!