11 Species of hardstyle fans you’ll find front-row at the mainstage.
Festivals. You gotta love em’…
When involved in the hard dance scene and attending events regularly throughout festival season and indoor event season, you may come to notice some familiar faces here and not to mention, bunches of individuals who in turn, look and act in a similar way. Déjà vu strikes when you see a blonde chick clinging for her dear life onto the barricade at the front of the mainstage and only dancing wildly when a camera guy comes along with his camera – you know that you’ve seen it before… At every damn event!
We don’t particularly condone the ‘labeling of people,’ however, time and time again we have noticed particular species of ravers exponentially growing and well, who doesn’t love a good stereotype?! We partied, we saw and we tabulated… We had a squiz at various hardstyle events and composed a list of 11 different stereotypical ‘species’ who lurk in and dominate the frontal vicinity of the mainstage…
#1. The foreigner who has underestimated the strength of Dutch pills:
Usually identified by:
A) Floating around in small groups near the front tripping kitties
B) Being frantically carried out to the medical tent by security guards or
C) Chewing their faces off intensely and unable to cope with pills containing more than 150mg’s of MDMA.
We all love a good munted foreigner but this species can be dangerous… Especially the French ones “oui oui.” They will grind their jaws into anything that they see, so please, if you have some spare chewing gum you should spare them a piece (or 10).
#2. Germans and/or Belgians:
Ladies, have you ever had a guy come up to you at a festival and start yapping on in German and regardless of how many times that you tell him “I DON’T SPEAK GERMAN” he keeps yapping “Ich Sex haben wollen mit Ihnen?”
It’s no secret that those from surrounding countries (AKA Belgium and Germany) are a little funky, but one things for sure, they are always down for a good party!
Usually identified by:
A) Germans are typically spotted with trays of beers which they are most likely going to spill on you
B) Belgians will try and steal your shoes when you go on somebody’s shoulders
C) Will follow you around the crowd for no apparent reason.
All jokes aside, we still love our fellow Belgians and Germans!
#3. “The Militant”
The population of this particular species has experienced more exponential growth than the post World War II baby boom. Since the conception of “Minus Miltia,” these so called ‘militans’ have been popping up left, right and center.
Usually identified by:
A) Moving around the frontal vicinity in packs of three, dressed as “Minus Militia” from head to toe
B) Wearing the signature MM t-shirt and other merchandise
C) Dancing in the front of the crowd to Bass Modulators, then on Monday they post “EUPHORIC HARDSTYLE IS GAY OMG RAW 4 EVER” on a forum.
Militants are fierce creatures and are proving as a force to be reckoned with this festival season. These raw loving ravers can be spotted in the front row of the mainstage watching Frontliner, whilst Chain Reaction is playing at another stage… Eeek!
#4. The “I’m just here for the munt” person:
Dragged along to a festival by your hardstyle loving friends? Just here to take a fuckload of pills and watch the light-show?
Yeah we’ve definitely seen these creatures before…
Here for the ultimate festival experience and not so much for the music, the “I’m just here for the munt” species is also on the rise, especially during festival season.
Usually identified by:
A) Not wearing merchandise
B) Zoning out and swaying along peacefully whilst watching the light-show
C) Unable to tell you which DJ is currently on stage.
These open minded individuals are a great species – they love to party, they love a good production and they just want to get fucked up and have a good time!
#5. The token hipster:
“Oh…. This isn’t the deep house stage…?”
This species is Headhunterz’ main inspiration for growing his lush man-bun and is also responsible for hardstyle lovers who look as though they walked out of Urban Outfitters.
There is more to meets the eye however, these lovely hipsters may appear to be a fish out of water, however they may surprise you when they know every single track by heart.
Usually identified by:
A) Wearing Dr. Martens instead of Nike’s.
B) Dressed in double denim or a fresh outfit straight from the racks of a vintage clothing store.
C) Going especially crazy when a 2009 hardstyle track is played.
D) Not gabbering/hakkuh – but doing more of a ‘tekno’ interpretation.
Long live the hipsters!
#6. The Radical Redemption lookalike:
Radical…? Is that you?!
The amount of double-takes you may be doing when spotting a tall dude wearing a backwards RR hat, a “Die Bitch” t-shirt and jeans is ridiculous. The ‘Radical army’ is undoubtedly growing and this species does share some similarities with “The Militiant” species, such as the fact that they are likely to be spotted dancing front and centre to Bass Modulators whilst there’s raw hardstyle blasting at another stage.
Usually identified by:
A) Wearing an immense amount of Radical Redemption merchandise
B) Never missing Radical Redemption’s set
C) Being on their hands and knees during Radical Redemption’s set – praising their raw God.
Radical Redemption lookalikes can come in all shapes, forms and genders – what can we say? The dude should start his own country!
#7. The “I want to be in the aftermovie” person:
One of the biggest lol’s you’ll see every festival season – the guys and girls that cling to barricades and only dance when a camera guy approaches their vicinity.
In desperate need for validation and attention, these ‘aftermovie’ whores truly want their friends and other people watching aftermovies to think that they are some sort of ‘famous raver’.
Usually identified by:
A) Instead of enjoying the party to its fullest potential, they are peering around in search of the nearest camera.
B) Standing at the barricade and dancing in either a sexy or crazy manner when the camera guy comes around
C) Spamming organisations on Facebook and asking when their aftermovie is coming out. When aftermovie comes out, this species are the first to watch and if they are not in the aftermovie it is likely that they will enter a state of despair and severe depression.
You don’t need to be in an aftermovie to prove that you went to a party and had a sick time…
#8. Token Grandma & Grandpa
“I remember back in the 80’s when we invented P.L.U.R…”
Fuck, we LOVE the token Mum’s & Dad’s/Grandma’s & Grandpa’s – these golden oldies party so hard that they even make their grandchildren jealous.
Imagine Christmas lunch with your Grandparents and they’re all like: “Oh honey, we had such a splendid time at Defqon.1, we shelved 300mg of MDMA and partied all night with a group of lovely French people!”
Usually identified by:
A) Over the age of 45 (old enough to get a ‘Pensioners’ discount at the bar)
B) Standing there with a few beers, enjoying the show and giving filthy looks to people who accidentally bump 11into them
C) Being pretty tame in general.
Imagine still going to parties when you’re in your 60’s – mission accepted!
#9. The “I want to fuck the DJ” chick:
This chick (and her boobs) need to be put on a leash. If this lovely groupie snuck behind the barricade, it would be a huge occupational health and safety hazard for everybody backstage and definitely a deal breaker for the DJ’s mental wellbeing.
This girl just doesn’t give up and has her mind set on having sex with every DJ that exists.
Usually identified by:
A) Showing her boobs to the DJ at random intervals throughout the day
B) If she spots a DJ in the crowd, she is the first to take a picture with him and ask what he’s doing later
C) Dancing in a sexy manner in hope that the DJ will spot her in the crowd and invite her backstage.
Without these girls, we would barely see any nipple at festivals…
#10. The “let’s sit on someone’s shoulders for the entire festival and wave my country’s flag around” person:
FOR FUCKS SAKE, I WANT TO WATCH THE LIGHT-SHOW BUT THERE’S A GOD DAMN PERSON SITTING ON SOMEBODY’S SHOULDERS IN FRONT OF ME, WAVING THEIR SPANISH FLAG.
For all vertically challenged people, this may be a regular annoyance that you will have to face at festivals. Like c’mon, just because you traveled all the way from Spain for this event, doesn’t give you the excuse to block other people’s view…
We love that you are here representing your country and all, but c’mon, sitting on someone’s shoulders all day?! That defeats the whole purpose of going to a festival and ending the day with cramping and sore feet.
Usually identified by:
A) The same person on somebody’s shoulders, waving their flag around for the ENTIRE day
B) Bringing signs to events that say “TEAM VILLAIN”.
C) Very enthusiastic and won’t leave the shoulders unless they desperately need to pee.
#11. The “Angerfist & phat pants combo” guy:
The legendary phat pants and Angerfist combo still exists and can be found aggressively gabbering for hours on end.
This species is the definition of IDGAF – they do what they want, dress how they want and are not scared to fly-kick whoever gets in their way. People on a lot of drugs may be tripping enough to mistaken this species for the real Angerfist and ask for a photo – but this is a rare occurrence.
Usually identified by:
A) Making their own lightshow with glow sticks and pressuring bystanders to watch his lightshow rather than the actual production on stage
B) Wearing an Angerfist mask and phat pants, sometimes accompanied by khandi
C) Having the incredible ability to hakkuh for the entire festival…
This species is sadly and slowly becoming extinct. To help save the Angerfist & phat pants combo species, please forward all donations to www.phatpants4lyf.com
The 11 species that we look a deeper look at will undoubtedly be in clear sights this festival season, so get yo’ inspection goggles on and check them out in real life!
1 Comment
lol