Groupie Diaries Part 2: Groupie goes backstage for first time.
For those of you who have opened up this page, let me start by saying: welcome to the second story of “The Groupie Diaries!” For those of you who want to familiarise yourself with the first story and also find out more about the main protagonist, CLICK HERE. I may also add, brace yourselves for some very unique and entertaining content that may or may not have you cringing with slight disgust or falling out of your seat from laughing.
**Disclaimer: For privacy reasons and integrity, although some of the stories are BASED on factual accounts from various individuals, situations have been altered and/or overly dramatised. There will be no names used for any characters that correspond to real life – these stories retain their sole purpose as entertainment!**
10:30AM: “Sophie!…”
Meh… I close my eyes again and ignore my friend, five more minutes of sleep never hurt anybody.
“SOPHIEEEEEE WAKE UP ITS ALMOST 11!!!”
My eyes struggle to open, yet once they do all hell breaks loose and I suddenly realise that I only have approximately one hour and twelve minutes to embark in my ‘getting ready’ ritual. I need to shower, change my outfit approximately 5 times before I am satisfied, put on enough makeup to not look like a pasty Norwegian and eat a satisfying amount of sodium and carbohydrates.
Without any thought I run to the bathroom, have a shower and brush my teeth (because I’m not a dirty bitch) and when I jump out, I can vividly hear that my friend Lisa has done the honours of putting on the perfect ‘getting ready’ music. Hardcore. I don’t know what it is but listening to hardcore whilst getting ready seems to always speed up the process and cut around 14 minutes off my usual time.
In the midst of getting ready I came to think about my recent embarrassment DJ Tableheadz as I zoned out and gazed out the window. For those of you who aren’t informed about my adventures with DJ Tableheadz, well, let me quickly sum it up for you… Just after Defqon.1, I had been speaking to DJ Tableheadz for a few days before we met up for the first time. Basically our ‘meet up’ resulted in us having sex, me almost throwing up on his room-mate and him never following up and texting me (I don’t blame him). He was the first DJ I had ever met in a non-party environment and since then, I had the urge to find another artist and try to not get too drunk.
Anyway, it had been around one month since the Tableheadz ‘incident’ and I was back in The Netherlands once again for Decibel. For the last few weeks, Lisa, the friend that I was staying with had been speaking to DJ Basshead who was a pretty well-known raw hardstyle DJ. Seeing as Lisa is the full package Dutch hottie and has been on the tune with Basshead (Nick), she managed to get both myself and her on the guest-list. I was seriously excited, I was so used to always buying tickets for events but this time would be different, I’d just casually stroll through the artist entrance with Lisa and Nick and have a fantastic day partying, drinking free alcohol and using my Norwegian charm to its advantage.
11:48AM: Lisa and I were finally ready. I was wearing tight jeans with a black midriff and Lisa was wearing… Oh fuck we were dressed practically the same. I quickly changed my top and all harmony was suddenly restored (yay).
The usual girl quota (taking approximately 100 selfies) took around 15 minutes until we heard a beep coming from outside.
“Oh shit, are you ready? Nick is here!” Lisa excitedly said.
“He better have hot friends.” I responded as I grabbed my bag, shot Lisa a smile and headed for the door.
We hopped into Nick’s car as he gave Lisa a quick peck on the lips (lucky bitch). Nick wasn’t really my type, but any idiot could see from a mile away that he was handsome as fuck. I introduced myself to Nick and his friend who was sitting next to me in the backseat. As the car moved, Lisa, Nick and Jon started yapping their heads off in Dutch with a few English sentences here and there so I wouldn’t feel awkward. After what felt like the longest half hour of my life, we had finally arrived at our destination! DE-CI-BEL.
I was encountering some serious nerves for some reason; I knew that for both me and Lisa, some funky shit would be going down today. Swallowing my random bout of nerves, we hopped out of the car at the artist parking and began walking towards the entrance. I saw a few familiar faced artists congregated around the car park and I felt as though I was in a completely parallel universe. I’m so used to seeing these artists on stage or photos of them plastered around social media, I had never seen them casually standing around, smoking cigarettes and being normal humans. After feeling the urge to run up to an artist and ask for a photo, I decided that I would refrain from being a huge fan girl whilst backstage – after the Tableheadz incident I didn’t want to embarrass myself further. Speaking of Tableheadz, I prayed to sweet Jesus that he wouldn’t be making an appearance… He wasn’t on the line-up (because he sucks) but knowing my luck he will probably randomly appear. After entering, Lisa and I decided to stick together throughout the day and I told her to make sure that I don’t get too drunk.
The backstage area is quite big and there are quite a few artists and crew members chilling around. We keep walking until we reach the notorious artist lounge where all the action is happening. It’s like a completely different world back here, there’s a huge chill-out area with lounges and tables, artists in all corners drinking beer and socialising and a bar towards the back. I didn’t expect it to be this snazzy, a wave of excitement rushes over me and I’m totally in the mood now.
1:14PM: Josie and I decide to get a drink. Nick’s friend Jon is beginning to have a crack with me and I’m seriously not in the mood to get with him. I have bigger and better things on my mind… I suddenly spot someone who’s looking particularly fine today – Audiofrequencybasscontroller.
Dayummm he’s even hotter in real life so I wait until he looks around and then shoot him a cheeky smile. The cheeky smile has been consistently working wonders for quite some time now so when he smiles back it’s no surprise.
1:30PM: My relay of cheeky smiles with Audiofrequencybasscontroller is suddenly disturbed by a familiar face.
Fuck.
“Hey Sophie! What are you doing here?” Trust my luck to have DJ Tableheadz turn up right when I’m in the midst of exchanging cheeky smiles.
I acted extremely disinterested “Oh, I’m just here with my friend…” I grab Lisa. “Lisa, this is Henry…”
Lisa slightly chuckles and says hi to Henry.
“So… How have you been?” Henry awkwardly asks.
I need to get out of this conversation in a timely fashion. “Good… I have to go… Lisa and I are going for a walk… Bye!” I grab Lisa and leave Henry standing there, dumbfounded.
“He’s not even that hot…” I said to Lisa. “But hey, how hot is Audiofrequencybasscontroller… Fuarrrrk…”
“Go and talk to him!”
“Noo… He makes me nervous. Let me get drunk first.”
3:30PM: After leaving the backstage area to check out the festival, we came back and Lisa went straight to Nick. His annoying friend Jon kept trying to talk to me and I was as interested as a sack of potatoes. I didn’t want to be rude, however I couldn’t deal with all of the questions about Norway and whether everybody lives in igloos there… I live in Norway, not fucking Alaska.
3:50PM: Lisa has now run off to be all lovey-dovey with Nick and I’m stuck here with this dude who is convinced that I live in an igloo with an incest family and two husky’s… I wish that Audiofrequencybasscontroller would come and save me with some more cheeky smiles… I didn’t want to be rude to Jon but to be honest, I was considering digging a hole in the ground and crawling all the way back to Norway…
Just as I’m about to get my hands dirty, I suddenly spot DJ Outtak walking towards us. He says something in Dutch and I think that he’s trying to reach for his bag. Oops, I completely forgot that I was sitting in front of a shitload of bags.
“Oh sorry, do you want your bag?”
I love when Dutch people are not expecting somebody to speak English and they fumble their words until their brain finally kicks into English mode.
“Ah… Oh… Yes please! It’s that one there!” He points to a black backpack. I grab the bag and hand it to him and flash a cheeky smile.
Outtak grabs the bag and smiles back. “Thanks! Where are you from by the way?”
“I’m from Norway…”
Outtak looks immediately interested. “Wow, Norway is beautiful… What are you doing here in the shitty Netherlands?”
Shitty?! Is he high? I decided to play it cool. “I’ve heard a lot of great things about Decibel, I just HAD to visit!”
I completely forgot that Nick’s weird friend was still sitting here but I didn’t care, I continued my conversation with Outtak who had now introduced himself as Ben.
“I’m Sophie. Nice to meet you Ben…”
“Sophie… A beautiful name for a beautiful Norwegian girl.”
Ooft… Was he having a crack too? What is with everyone today? Jon suddenly cuts into conversation and says that he is going to find Nick. Thank god.
“Is that your boyfriend?” Ben asks.
“No, that’s just my friend’s boyfriend’s friend.”
I keep chatting to Ben and my hope in the human race is restored with the fact that he doesn’t ask if I live in an igloo. He offers to get me a drink and when I’m expecting him to go to the bar, he pulls out a massive bottle of Grey Goose from his bag, I couldn’t resist. Lisa and Nick finally return and we all sit down and keep chatting. The Grey Goose is thankfully doing its job in making me confident and ready for anything.
5:30PM eventually crawls around and Ben gets up. “Oh shit, I have to play in about an hour! Are you coming to watch Sophie?”
I glanced at Lisa and then back at Ben. “Hmm… I guess I will.”
“You better! Anyway, I have to go and get ready, I’ll see you back here later?” Ben says as he flashes his charming smile.
Oh you definitely will be seeing me later you sexy thing…
6:30PM: After another cheeky drink (or 5), Lisa and I decide to go and watch Ben play – were not huge fans of his music but he’s quite hot and well, YOLO.
We walk through the festival and laugh at everyone on drugs and we make it to one of the smaller stages which is absolutely packed. We were pretty drunk by this stage as we danced and made jokes about me banging Outtak. This was a serious matter – we should not joke about this, chances are that I would probably be sucking his face off in approximately T minus 3 hours.
8:00PM: Lisa and I are pretty drunk now and we decide that I should go and chat to Ben more, so we skip through the festival grounds, laugh at more fucked up people, show our wristbands and head to the artist lounge.
Just as we enter the lounge, I see Ben chatting with some DJ’s and when he glances at me he pauses his conversation to approach me.
“Did you like my set?”
“No.”
Ben looks really offended and doesn’t immediately sense the sarcasm in my voice.
“I’m joking! It was pretty good!”
“Thanks.” Ben smiled. “So… are we getting drunk or what?”
“Thanks to that Grey Goose, I already am!”
As the sun begins to retreat and melt into the horizon, we decide to grab some drinks, leave the backstage area and go and watch some of the show at the main stage. Walking through the crowd with both Nick and Ben, we were stopped every five minutes by munted fans asking for photos. It seriously took us twenty minutes to get through the crowd and to the very back where people were less likely to harass the boys. I felt pretty damn important to be chilling in the crowd with Ben and Nick, now all I needed was a sneaky drunk kiss from Ben.
Other than trying to converse with Ben over the pounding bass, nothing particularly exciting happened for the next hour or so until he sneakily slipped his arm around my waist. I looked around to see if anyone was watching but luckily the ravers around us were wrapped in an MDMA blanket and off in their own little worlds. Ben grabbed me tight and urged me to turn around to face him. I was confidently drunk and I decided that I was going to just go with it.
I turned around and Ben immediately went for it. This dude was definitely not wasting any time! Seeing as I was pretty tipsy, it took me a few moments to realise that I was at Decibel kissing DJ Outtak. Now that’s a nice story I can take back home to Norway with me.
“What are you doing after this?” Asks Ben.
“Um… Well I’m meant to be going back to Lisa’s place. That’s where I’m staying…”
Ben then tapped Lisa on the shoulder and they began talking in Dutch. Lisa looks at me and sneakily does a thumbs up… I have no idea what the bitch is on about.
“So um… Your friend said that it’s okay that you come home with me tonight.” Ben says with a cheeky grin. This directly translated into my head as “BITCH, YOU’RE GETTING LAID!”
Woohoo!
We eventually went backstage to have a few more drinks and once 11PM crept around, one of Ben’s friends asked if he was ready to leave. Of course he was ready to leave. I said goodbye to Lisa and Nick and they both wished me and vagina the best of luck and told me to get back safely.
On the way out to the car park I saw a familiar face looking at me. It took me a moment to realise that it was Audiofrequencybasscontroller. He shot me a cheeky smile and just as I smiled back, Ben grabbed my hand and led me to his friend’s car. I was hoping that I hadn’t drank enough to cause motion sickness so I opened the window of the car and muzzed out in some random drunken thoughts.
Am I really doing this? Was I seriously on my way to Outtak’s house?
About twenty minutes later, the car came to a stop and Ben and his friend were talking shit in Dutch.
“We’re here!” Ben said.
I thanked his friend for the lift (polite bitch 101) and jumped out of the car. Ben led me upstairs to his apartment and I must say, it was a lot more impressive than Henry’s.
I quickly looked at my phone. 12:0… Fuck, Ben was wasting no time at all. He grabbed me and started kissing me passionately. I kept having random drunk thoughts at the time but I just decided to go with it and if worst comes to worst, I’ll just starfish it.
Now, I really hate shitty erotica and I am trying to do everything in my power to make sure that this story doesn’t turn into a shitty erotica tale, so let’s just say that things escalated quite quickly from when I gave Ben his bag to when he was rapidly removing my clothes.
Woah…
Being pretty exhausted and all after the activities that just occurred Ben did the spooning deed and cuddled me until I drifted off into a half drunken slumber…
…
…
…
*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*
Who the fuck sets an alarm on a Sunday? I doubt the naked dude next to me has to go to church or anything. I look at the clock, it’s almost 11:00AM.
Ben rolls over and slams the alarm and is suddenly greeted by my half dishevelled face. Fuck I hope I don’t look like a washed up prostitute.
“Good morning beautiful.” He says, kissing me.
Eh? He’s a DJ, he’s meant to be all like ‘hey bitch, who are you again? Did we fuck or what?’
After some pillow talk, Ben said that he could drive me back to my friends if I wanted and regardless of the awkward small talk in the car, I would not be caught dead on public transport with my face looking like this. I seriously didn’t know if Ben was still drunk but he loved my dishevelled face and kept hinting that he wanted to see me again. I mean he’s cute and all but I wasn’t entirely sure. When he dropped me back to Lisa’s house, he kissed me and I gave him my number, I guess there wouldn’t be any harm in having some fun with him whenever I was in The Netherlands…
As I got out of the car and approached Lisa’s house, I ticked the imaginary box of banging DJ Outtak…